1) Don’t panic.
2) Always make too much gravy.
3) Invite zealots for tea, never for dinner.
4) Sleep well and lie in.
5) Spend as much as you can on a washing machine and buy the best mattress you can afford. A TV you can live without.
6) Bake bread and make your own pizzas.
7) Laugh at farts and swear profusely, but keep your shoes off the furniture.
8) Always about your person have something to write on and something to write with.
9) Watch where you’re going, not where you’ve been.
10) Be a good person – no one likes a wanker.
No word for gravy 